Alone in my quiet moment with God last night, I settled myself lying on bed. A headphone was tucked on my ears, listening
to one of Hillsong's albums which was lent to me by a brother in my choir on Sunday. I love Hillsong Music. I believe I am
growing into loving and patronizing their music more and more. I think I'll grow old having their songs sealed on my lips.
There's one issue that was cemented on my mind last night. Faith. How much faith do I have for God? Then
I thought of the faith I have on the material things I deal with everyday and the confidence I entrust that these things will
serve me according to its specific purpose. The faith in the shampoo, the hair conditioner, the soap I use to take away the
dirts and residues on my body; The faith I give to the clothes I wear everyday that it will make me look good and not a laughingstock
when I present myself to the public; The faith I have in my comb that it will untangle my messy hair; The faith I have in
my mobile's service provider that it will continue to render services everyday for me to reach long distances to communicate
with my friends and loved ones. The list is too long to mention everything.
How about the faith I have with my human counterparts? The faith I have for Ryan that his love for me lasts a lifetime; The
faith I have for my family that they will never turn their back at me in the worsest times, that they love with all of their
hearts; The faith I have for my friends to support me in any way they can.
I know I have faith in God. But honestly, it's a faith that most of the time wavers specially when I am dipped in a hot, bubbling
barrel of test which seemed like impassable as my carnal mind would insinuate me.
The amount of faith I have for the material things and for human beings around me is bigger than the faith I have for God.
It's pathetic but I am not ashame to admit because it's true. With material things, I don't doubt their adequacy to gratify
me with the function that it serves. But with God, it's a half-baked faith. It's not absolute. It's a faith accessorised with
doubts and fears.
I am not comparing God with earthly things for God is incomparable. All I desire is to have faith in God that never doubt
nor fear. A faith like I give my chair at work to support my whole body all throughout the 8 hours of sitting and standing,
doing the same routine the whole day. A faith like I have on the meals I munch each day to satisfy and make me full. A faith
like I have on a chilled bottle of iced tea to quench my thirst.
In my human mind, it's quite impossible for me to acquire the faith my heart desires for God. But with God, all things are
possible. I am fully aware that faith in God is developed in time through sufferings, pains, trials, tests, afflictions. It
is not an overnight project. It is something I have to learn, re-learn, take, re-take. I will never have faith without going
through these dark seasons of life. For in my darkness, it's when I see God's light shining on me. It's when I feel most of
His abounding grace. It's when my faith is progressively and increasingly honed.
I strived for an absolute faith for God. That is one of my heart's desires. I have to work hard to attain that goal. I know
it won't be easy because in obtaining a great eternal reward I have to go through a lot of obstacles. But I will try very
hard to run every race. God will always give me victory for every battle. Did He not promise at all never to leave me nor
forsake me? I live by that promise.
I pray and ask for a renewed, unshakable faith. A faith that never doubt nor fear. An absolute faith. A faith that surrenders
everything to God, come what may. A faith that proudly says "You are my Almighty God, in You everything I trust."
Matthew 7:7
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."
Matthew 6:30
If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire,
will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
Matthew 9:22
Jesus turned and saw her. "Take heart, daughter," he said, "your faith has healed you." And the woman was
healed from that moment.
Romans 4:20-21
"Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and
gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what He had promised."
(November 14, 2006)
