It’s confirmed…I AM IN LOVE!!!
There are a lot to write but I cannot contain my high emotions for now. Wow…LOL. I’m in heaven.
The Man Who Owns My Heart
August 10, 2006 by silvergreysilhouette | Edit
A testimony for the man who owns my heart.
If I had to write something about this man in a paper, it might consume hundreds of
pages. Anyway, this is not a feat to match his testimony. But let me try to tell you a few things who he is to me and what
he makes of me in my life.
If most women think there’s only a few romantic men left in this world, my baby is one of them. He always does things that make my heart melt. Most of the time he left me speechless. And when words were left glued on my mind or got frozen at the tip of my tongue / my fingertips, all I did is give him a BIG virtual hug. He knows what my hugs mean.
One of the things I deeply appreciate of him is his sharing to me his thoughts, whatever they are. He knows that it’s important to me and that by doing so, it makes me happy and most of all gives me a glimpse what he thinks about certain things / issues. He keeps me fall in love all over again in him. Oh well, he knows how to do that. I always see myself falling on his trap. LOL. And I love to being kept grab by his magnet or be under his love spell.
I consider him as my ultimate reward of my very painful battle of brokenness in the matters of the heart. He’s God-given and I treasure him so much. He is my priceless gem whose love glitters inside my heart and illuminates through the glow in my eyes and the sweetness of my smile. I see the kind of person he really is beyond the words he’d written and have spoken, regardless of his physical absence.
My baby is all I could ever ask for in a man. Yeah, he has his flaws (so do I, who doesn’t?). But I accept and love the totality of him. He is the best for me and I am so proud of him. It feels like heaven to be in love with Ryan. I could not ask for anyone else, but him.
The gift of his love always keeps me in awe of God’s works in my life. Oftentimes I am lost for words to thank my Father for Ryan’s presence in my world and his special role in my life. It’s usually substituted with tears of joy. I am most assured because this relationship is built with God as our rock, our foundation.
I get thrilled thinking of the day when I find myself wrapped in his arms as we dance, with him serenading me the song "Fly Me to the Moon". Aaawww! :):):)
With faith, hope and love, I am patiently waiting until the Author of our love story fulfills His great future plans for us. I know our patience will pay off.
"Baby, I love you. I don’t want to express it fully in words, for words will be never be enough to convey how much."
"Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death. Many
waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away."
He Made Me Blush
November 1, 2006 by silvergreysilhouette | Edit
My Ryan surprised me with a dozen of pink roses when I reached home last Tuesday night. Oh well, what else do you expect my reaction would be when I got those beautiful flowers? Like the shades of the roses my cheeks turned, in so much blushing. It felt like getting a flower from my crush or a secret admirer. LOL. I wore that special smile again. That special smile which only Ryan can paint on my face.
For what reason he sent me roses? No special occassion at all. He’s just expressing his thoughts, his love, his adoration.
My baby made me feel so loved, so special, so valued, so adored. His love is rare in this world. He is one of a kind. Lucky and blessed I am, for his beautiful heart is mine.
I Miss My Man
November 6, 2006 by silvergreysilhouette | Edit
I miss my Ryan. I miss his touch. I miss his sweet naughty smile. I miss his deep soothing voice. I miss his tender kisses all over my face. I miss his warm comforting hugs. I miss lying my head on his lap and falling asleep on it. I miss his seranading me with love songs. Little did he know that everytime he sings for me, my cheeks are really blushing, my heart skips and I could not resist to wear the special smile I have for him exclusively. I miss his reading me Bible passages. It is so reassuring to think and know that we are together in God’s divine ground. I really miss his laughter everytime I demand him more kisses and where I would want him to plant it. I miss waking up in the morning with me snuggling in his arms. I miss his morning kisses on my head, on my forehead, both my eyes, on my nose, on my cheeks, on my lips. I miss his preparing me breakfast on bed. I miss the anticipation of waiting for him going home from work so we could throw our arms on each other again and just feel the satisfaction of the unbearable pain of missing each other in hours. Then we’d dance under the moonlit sky and just delight the touch of the desert wind on our bare skin. I miss him staring at me with his beautiful blue eyes which have never failed to melt and mesmerize me everytime he does so. I miss the wants of his eyes for me. It curls my toes. I miss his naughty winks everytime he sees me at the backyard taking care of my beautiful garden. I really don’t know why he winks at me naughtily when he finds me in my little haven of joy. Is it because I look too cute and sexy on his big, loose shirt? And then I see the joy of his smile looking at me working under the heat of the sun with a big hat and a pair of flowery flip flops. He’d tease me that my wrinkles are getting visible because of the sun rays, and then he’d wrapped me in his strong arms and tells me "You’re as beautiful and as fresh as the flowers in your garden sweetheart." I’d grin so much getting tickled by his compliment. He loves to see me smiling and he’ll usually seal my smiles with his tender, passionate kisses. So what do I do? I’d smile as much as I can (except if I have tantrums) :):):) I miss him cuddling on my lap when we watch a good program on TV. I love stroking his hair and kissing him on his forehead and whisper sweet nothings on his ear. He giggles when I get to have something really crazy on my mind. I usually fall asleep on his lap every night. Then he’d carefully carry me to the room as if he’s holding a very fragile glass and he securely tucks me on bed as I dream of him again… night after night until I just wake up one morning and realize that everything I missed of him and us together is no longer just a dream, but a reality. I miss my Ryan. I miss my man.
Samba
November 8, 2006 by silvergreysilhouette | Edit
His eyes blaze like King Arthur’s sword
It kills a multitude with a fiery wink
His strength is of Hercules’
Foes trampled under his knifed claws
His winged feet, swift as Achilles’
Villains await their death
Countless bloody fights
Buried scars on his body
Mark defeat and victory
He
stands like Zeus with pride
And burning arrogance
He
owns Mt. Olympus
Yet, he is no king of the world
His Daughter of Little Faith
November 13, 2006 by silvergreysilhouette | Edit
Alone in my quiet moment with God last night, I settled myself lying on bed. A headphone was tucked on my ears, listening to one of Hillsong’s albums which was lent to me by a brother in my choir on Sunday. I love Hill song Music . I believe I am growing into loving and patronizing their music more and more. I think I’ll grow old having their songs sealed on my lips.
There’s one issue that was cemented on my mind last night. Faith. How much faith do I have for God? Then I thought of the faith I have on the material things I deal with everyday and the confidence I entrust that these things will serve me according to its specific purpose. The faith in the shampoo, the hair conditioner, the soap I use to take away the dirts and residues on my body; The faith I give to the clothes I wear everyday that it will make me look good and not a laughingstock when I present myself to the public; The faith I have in my comb that it will untangle my messy hair; The faith I have in my Mobile’s service provider that it will continue to render services everyday for me to reach long distances to communicate with my friends and loved ones. The list is too long to mention everything.
How about the faith I have with my human counterparts? The faith I have for Ryan that his love for me lasts a lifetime; The faith I have for my family that they will never turn their back at me in the worst times, that they do love me with all of their hearts; The faith I have for my friends to support me in any way they can.
I know I have faith in God. But honestly, it’s a faith that most of the time wavers specially when I am dipped in a hot, bubbling barrel of test which seemed like impassable as my carnal mind would insinuate me.
The amount of faith I have for the material things and for human beings around me is bigger than the faith I have for God. It’s pathetic but I am not ashame to admit because it’s true. With material things, I don’t doubt their adequacy to gratify me with the function that it serves. But with God, it’s a half-baked faith. It’s not absolute. It’s a faith accessorized with doubts and fears.
I am not comparing God with earthly things for God is incomparable. All I desire is to have faith in God that never doubt nor fear. A faith like I give my chair at work to support my whole body all throughout the 8 hours of sitting and standing, doing the same routine the whole day. A faith like I have on the meals I munch each day to satisfy and make me full. A faith like I have on a chilled bottle of iced tea to quench my thirst.
In my human mind, it’s quite impossible for me to acquire the faith my heart desires for God. But with God, all things are possible. I am fully aware that faith in God is developed in time through sufferings, pains, trials, tests, afflictions. It is not an overnight project. It is something I have to learn, re-learn, take, re-take. I will never have faith without going through these dark seasons of life. For in my darkness, it’s when I see God’s light shining on me. It’s when I feel most of His abounding grace. It’s when my faith is progressively and increasingly honed.
I strive an absolute faith for God. That is one of my heart’s desires. I have to work hard to attain that goal. I know it won’t be easy because in obtaining a great eternal reward I have to go through a lot of obstacles. But I will try very hard to run every race. God will always give me victory for every battle. Did He not promise at all never to leave me nor forsake me? I live by that promise.
I pray and ask for a renewed, unshakable faith. A faith that never doubt nor fear. An absolute faith. A faith that surrenders everything to God, come what may. A faith that proudly says "You are my Almighty God and Father, in You everything I trust."
Matthew 7:7
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock
and the door will be opened to you."
Matthew 6:30
If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he
not much more clothe you, O you of little
faith?
Matthew 9:22
Jesus turned and saw her. "Take heart, daughter," he said, "your faith has healed you." And the woman was healed from that moment.
Romans 4:20-21
"Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God
had power to do what He had promised."
In Praise To Him
November 15, 2006 by silvergreysilhouette | Edit
Time passed by so quickly. It’s been a month since I had my vehicular accident. The jeepney that I was riding on smashed into the immobile van infront of us. The impact of the collision on my body was quite draining, physically speaking. I had to skip work for 3 days. The muscles on my left leg and partly on my back hip were severely strained. My left leg could barely walk. Gladfully, the pain reliever that the doctor prescribed worked, so I didn’t have to go back and get another check-up for my leg just in case the pain didn’t subside. I feared that I broke a bone. By God’s grace, I did not. I also had this strange feeling on my head. Something I got from the strong force when the jeepney hit the van’s rear.
During the few minutes and hours after the accident, I really didn’t feel any fear at all. I mean the fear that I could’ve died on that day. But I was feeling very vulnerable. All my life, it was the first time I felt such intense feeling of vulnerability. The very first person that came into mind when it happened was Ryan. I just felt the need of his strength to wrap me. I needed his assurance to tell me that everything’s going to be okay. I was extremely needing his presence at that very moment in time. I can remember how much I cried while trying to dial his number. I needed to tell him. I needed him to comfort me. The other line answered, but it was not him. It was an answering machine. I didn’t try to call him back because he must’ve sound asleep by that time. It must be around 3:30 AM by then in Arizona. It’s heart-breaking because the person I needed the most right after the accident, happened to be someone who’s 8000 miles away from me. But Ryan did all his best to comfort me even just through his words on email/chat and his comforting assurances on phone. I felt his deep worries and concern. I felt his love. I felt his care.
My recent accident was an experience which taught me more things about life. Most mportantly, it was another moment where undoubtful evidences of God’s manifestation in my life were unfolded, visibly and invisibly: from sparing my life, to sending me a person to help even before the tragedy happened, to the touch of His healing power, to revealing more of His true nature to me as my Almighty God.
I really have a lot to write some things I have contemplated in connection with the above-mentioned circumnstance in my life. But I do not know where and how to start for each of those. For now, I just want to express my thanksgiving and give praise, honor, glory and power to my Almighty God, who once and for all has never abandoned me all of my life. I acknowledge His name for everything He has done and given me.
First Time N’yo?
November 19, 2006 by silvergreysilhouette | Edit
I had a fun time with 3 of my best buddies in our choir: Devie, Medi (our very talented trainor) and Rene. We had our very first recording of songs at Soundtraxx Recording Studio in Labangon. It was a production of a demo CD, composing of songs commonly sung for Catholic masses (i.e. Lord Have Mercy, Glory to God…).
It was a fun and great experience. It’s my first time to be inside a recording studio booth and having an actual performance with all recording facilities, together with musically gifted people.
We’re not really satisfied with the finish product. LOL. The ideal recording is supposed to be done individually to come up with a good quality of production. Instead, we recorded the songs together as a group (to save money since we have to pay the recording studio per hour). The end result was, the melody voices (Rene and Devie) were dominated by the back-up voices (Medi and me) specially during the voicing parts. Ideally, it is supposed to be the melody’s voices who should outshine in all of the songs, but unfortunately that did not happen. We just kept on laughing and teasing with the outcome of the production. I’d been the subject most of the teasing because my voice was really thundering specially in the "Lamb of God" song. LOL. Eeewwwww!
We’ve learned a lot from our first recording, technically speaking. It was our trial and error stage. Lapses will be corrected next time around and ideal process of recording will be applied properly for us to generate a good quality of output.
Oh well, it was really an enjoyable moment with my talented friends in Christ. We had strengthened our bond not only as friends but as good buddies serving God through the gift of music endowed on us by our very generous Almighty Father.
I would like to commend the four of us for joining efforts and combining our musical talents to come up with something good for God. Next time, we will do all our best, because God deserves the best in return of the gifts He bestowed upon us. It was also touching to hear from Medi he’s expressing his sentiment to us of how blessed his life had been for having us around. Awwwww! That was really touching. I told him in return that we too were definitely blessed, specially me because he was the one who diligently taught me to learn the alto voice and has helped me a lot to develop my talent in singing.
Unfortunately, Rene didn’t bring his digital cam kay wala kunoy battery. LOL. So, I tried to produce pics of them so I could also share it with other friends.
Bro. Medi,
our very talented choir trainor. Someone whose patience is outstretched without limit specially when he trains us with different
voices. I wonder how he really looks like in case he runs out of patience kay dugay kaayo mi makabawo. LOL. A very dedicated
and committed man to his family and his profession in music.
Devie, she’s like my sister. She’s my best friend in our choir. We go along very well. She’s
gifted with a very beautiful voice and she’s the lead vocal of melody and soprano groups. She also serves as the Head
Servant of Revelation 418. Dugay kaayo mahuman ug shopping, labaw pa nako. LOL.
Rene, male version daw ni Aiza Seguerra. LOL. He outshines everyone in the choir when he starts to
sing kay super kaayo ug tingog. Palong tanan basta si Rene na mokanta. He’s absolutely gifted. Medi has no problem teaching
him because he’s very proficient in his singing craft.
I also want to extend my thanks to our very young couple members Moises and Lovely for providing us copies of the demo CD for our personal collection.